那颗种子

那一年，那一间教室，我捡到了一个种子，就在你的背包旁。
我当时没有告诉你。

窗前的小花盆里，种子静静的躺着享受着阳光。
雨天，打在屋顶的雨水溅在花盆里，种子静静的感受着雨。

我不浇水，也不施肥，却很好奇它会长出什么样的花。
可是种子始终不萌芽。

搬家的那一天，我问你那是一颗什么种子。
你说，你没种花。

离开时，我把小花盆也带走了。
不萌芽的种子不需要照顾，可是它已经成为一种陪伴。


书桌上的小花盆里，种子依然静静的躺着。
然而，它已失去了很多阳光，也没有了雨水。

不想再等种子萌芽，我买了棵仙人掌。
没有阳光，少许水份，仙人掌也可以长得很好。

有了仙人掌，我开始故意忘了种子的存在。
可是仙人掌上的刺，无数次的刺伤我的手。

横下心把仙人掌给丢了后，才发现已经好久没看过那颗种子了。
原来种子已经混在泥土里了。

也许，这样也好。
虽然偶尔还是会想，那颗种子到底会开出什么样的花，什么样的果实？
但是如果泥土没能让种子发芽，那就让种子永远埋在泥土里吧。


好久前就说过要离开了，可是还是多呆了一下。

感觉上最近大家都不怎么写部落格了，所以也不怎么看别人的部落格了吧。我其实很喜欢用文字来发泄情感，可是这么公开地放在部落格上会让自己觉得很没有安全感，所以常常在写完了后又立即删除了。也许，在那篇文章打好以前，就已经觉得原本想要表达的东西其实也没有什么大不了的，没有上传的必要。

这‘一千步’，现在应该不止一千步了吧？这段距离，似乎有增无减。曾经很努力的想要去改变，却发现很多事情是徒劳的。

已经好久好久没有上来这部落格了，今天又回到了这里，不是偶然的，只是突然累了，找不到个可以理解自己的人来倾诉，也找不到其他管道来发泄，唯有上来发发牢骚。

用了一个多小时就只写了这么多，不是我打字太慢，其实好多句子都被我写了又删的，因为好像觉得不是那么重要了。很矛盾吧！

嗯...... 

此篇文章纯粹是毫无重点的烂文章，如果你不小心浪费了你人生中的几分钟时间来读，我真的很抱歉。


开始觉得，一个人装坚强久了，会渐渐失去脆弱的资格。

是时候离开了

比很久很久，还要久

I am a Malaysian

Have you ever ask yourself what you can do for your country?

Woke up at 6.15am yesterday morning, traveled all the way to Merlion Park just to snap a picture of the landmark of Singapore with a poster of 'Stop Lynas, Save Malaysia'.

I could only do this much.

Eventhough I am not in Malaysia now, that doesn't mean I don't love my country. I want to give a little contribution by giving my full support to the Anti-Lynas fighters in Malaysia to save my homeland.

p/s:
I am just an unnoticeable citizen of Malaysia.
I am not from Pahang, nor am I belong to any political party.
So I beg those stupid politicians to stop politicize this issue.

2012

Less than 10 hours for a new year, I am not ready to welcome 2012 yet, unlike previous years when I would be very excited counting down the hours left and looking forward a brand new year. This year, I feel that I didn't have enough time for everything, but I am grateful that almost all my wishes in 2011 wish list have been granted, somehow.

2011 has been a very special year for me because of all the first-times.

• First time working and living outside the country, although there is only a bridge away between the two countries. Sometimes I do get confused where am I at.
  
• First time being able to swim for more than 5m, its embarrassing I know but its already considered a big achievement for me, considering that I had never swim for the past 23 years of my life. Thanks to my sifus.
• First time traveled to totally unfamiliar countries alone. Ask me why I did that, because I wanna do something different for my 24th birthday and that was the most special and unforgettable birthday present I could give myself so far.
• First time conquered black diamond route (off road cycling trail) in Pulau Ubin, my bike was dead halfway and I even fell down once from the bike, but I am proud I did it, it was an awesome experience. Thanks again to my sifus.
  
• First time having vacation with all the family members together, yes first time. Hopefully there are more to come in year 2012!

This year, I joined 6 marathons, couldn't make it to 10 though. Also, I settled my debt with Petronas and I am finally free from my creditor :D :D :D

Throughout the year, people and things I encountered along the way, regardless good ones or bad ones, they make me what I am today.

Year 2011, I have deeper understanding of time and life.
Life is short, yet time flies like no one's business. We don't have much time left to be wasted in our life.
We've got to forget the past, live in the present and look into the future, do not leave any regrets in our life.

We normally don't regret something we did, but something we didn't.

Happy New Year!

I Just Ran Away From My House

I didn't know what I was trying to prove, but ever since my first step out from the house, I knew that I got to go on, of course there is always turning back but I don't want to look down on myself. The first time in my life running away from my house (not my home, because I already ran out from my home) and the city I am familiar with, with excitement, fear, worries and also guilt for not obeying my parents.

With my only traveling companion, a more than 8kg backpack, I started my journey to another countries I had never been before, the cities I don't speak their language at all. Thinking of all the potential dangers that could have happened to me, my very first mission was to come back in one piece! This trip actually sounds more like an adventure, I don't like to be called a tourist, I want to be a traveler instead.

For me, the most exciting part about being in a foreign country is to learn about the locals, you can see so many things by visiting the city on foot and that's what I always love to do. The best part about traveling alone is that you are free to alter your plan, go anywhere you feel like going, stop anywhere you feel like staying for a bit longer and still be able to enjoy the journey because you don't have to please anyone, you just have to follow your mind and heart. But be ready to bear higher costs as there is no one to share the accommodation and transportation costs, also there is no one to help you to take pictures and sometimes it is quite scary to sleep in a room alone. Anyway, you won't be totally alone all the time because you will meet new friends along the way. I make 7 new friends this time :)

I am still proud of myself for keeping the promise I made to myself, its not a luxurious tours, no 5-star hotels, no expensive meals, no air-cond bus all the way, but its a trip that I will always remember and never regret. Although this trip is too short to transform me to a totally different person, but the things I encountered and people I met along the way do give me some inspiration and changed me in one way or the other.

寻

我突然发现，你不见了。

我回到家里，你不在。

我到公司找你，你也不在。

我去对面的草场，见不到你。

我想，或许你会到超市逛逛，所以我又去了常光顾的那间，

可是还是没看到你。

我努力地想着所有你喜欢和你可能会去的地方。

图书馆，海边，书店，健身房，游泳池，羽球场...

我还在电影院外等了两个小时，几部电影散场后依然不见你的踪影，

所以我就买了戏票独自看了一部喜剧片。

我一边望着大荧幕，一边勉强地随着其他观众笑着，

却一边想着你到底还会去什么地方。

你是不是又离开了？

这次又到哪了？

不管你在哪里，请记得一定要等我，我一定会找到你。

因为，这是我对自己的承诺。