那颗种子

那一年，那一间教室，我捡到了一个种子，就在你的背包旁。
我当时没有告诉你。

窗前的小花盆里，种子静静的躺着享受着阳光。
雨天，打在屋顶的雨水溅在花盆里，种子静静的感受着雨。

我不浇水，也不施肥，却很好奇它会长出什么样的花。
可是种子始终不萌芽。

搬家的那一天，我问你那是一颗什么种子。
你说，你没种花。

离开时，我把小花盆也带走了。
不萌芽的种子不需要照顾，可是它已经成为一种陪伴。


书桌上的小花盆里，种子依然静静的躺着。
然而，它已失去了很多阳光，也没有了雨水。

不想再等种子萌芽，我买了棵仙人掌。
没有阳光，少许水份，仙人掌也可以长得很好。

有了仙人掌，我开始故意忘了种子的存在。
可是仙人掌上的刺，无数次的刺伤我的手。

横下心把仙人掌给丢了后，才发现已经好久没看过那颗种子了。
原来种子已经混在泥土里了。

也许，这样也好。
虽然偶尔还是会想，那颗种子到底会开出什么样的花，什么样的果实？
但是如果泥土没能让种子发芽，那就让种子永远埋在泥土里吧。


好久前就说过要离开了，可是还是多呆了一下。

感觉上最近大家都不怎么写部落格了，所以也不怎么看别人的部落格了吧。我其实很喜欢用文字来发泄情感，可是这么公开地放在部落格上会让自己觉得很没有安全感，所以常常在写完了后又立即删除了。也许，在那篇文章打好以前，就已经觉得原本想要表达的东西其实也没有什么大不了的，没有上传的必要。

这‘一千步’，现在应该不止一千步了吧？这段距离，似乎有增无减。曾经很努力的想要去改变，却发现很多事情是徒劳的。

已经好久好久没有上来这部落格了，今天又回到了这里，不是偶然的，只是突然累了，找不到个可以理解自己的人来倾诉，也找不到其他管道来发泄，唯有上来发发牢骚。

用了一个多小时就只写了这么多，不是我打字太慢，其实好多句子都被我写了又删的，因为好像觉得不是那么重要了。很矛盾吧！

嗯...... 

此篇文章纯粹是毫无重点的烂文章，如果你不小心浪费了你人生中的几分钟时间来读，我真的很抱歉。


开始觉得，一个人装坚强久了，会渐渐失去脆弱的资格。

是时候离开了

比很久很久，还要久

I am a Malaysian

Have you ever ask yourself what you can do for your country?

Woke up at 6.15am yesterday morning, traveled all the way to Merlion Park just to snap a picture of the landmark of Singapore with a poster of 'Stop Lynas, Save Malaysia'.

I could only do this much.

Eventhough I am not in Malaysia now, that doesn't mean I don't love my country. I want to give a little contribution by giving my full support to the Anti-Lynas fighters in Malaysia to save my homeland.

p/s:
I am just an unnoticeable citizen of Malaysia.
I am not from Pahang, nor am I belong to any political party.
So I beg those stupid politicians to stop politicize this issue.

2012

Less than 10 hours for a new year, I am not ready to welcome 2012 yet, unlike previous years when I would be very excited counting down the hours left and looking forward a brand new year. This year, I feel that I didn't have enough time for everything, but I am grateful that almost all my wishes in 2011 wish list have been granted, somehow.

2011 has been a very special year for me because of all the first-times.

• First time working and living outside the country, although there is only a bridge away between the two countries. Sometimes I do get confused where am I at.
  
• First time being able to swim for more than 5m, its embarrassing I know but its already considered a big achievement for me, considering that I had never swim for the past 23 years of my life. Thanks to my sifus.
• First time traveled to totally unfamiliar countries alone. Ask me why I did that, because I wanna do something different for my 24th birthday and that was the most special and unforgettable birthday present I could give myself so far.
• First time conquered black diamond route (off road cycling trail) in Pulau Ubin, my bike was dead halfway and I even fell down once from the bike, but I am proud I did it, it was an awesome experience. Thanks again to my sifus.
  
• First time having vacation with all the family members together, yes first time. Hopefully there are more to come in year 2012!

This year, I joined 6 marathons, couldn't make it to 10 though. Also, I settled my debt with Petronas and I am finally free from my creditor :D :D :D

Throughout the year, people and things I encountered along the way, regardless good ones or bad ones, they make me what I am today.

Year 2011, I have deeper understanding of time and life.
Life is short, yet time flies like no one's business. We don't have much time left to be wasted in our life.
We've got to forget the past, live in the present and look into the future, do not leave any regrets in our life.

We normally don't regret something we did, but something we didn't.

Happy New Year!

I Just Ran Away From My House

I didn't know what I was trying to prove, but ever since my first step out from the house, I knew that I got to go on, of course there is always turning back but I don't want to look down on myself. The first time in my life running away from my house (not my home, because I already ran out from my home) and the city I am familiar with, with excitement, fear, worries and also guilt for not obeying my parents.

With my only traveling companion, a more than 8kg backpack, I started my journey to another countries I had never been before, the cities I don't speak their language at all. Thinking of all the potential dangers that could have happened to me, my very first mission was to come back in one piece! This trip actually sounds more like an adventure, I don't like to be called a tourist, I want to be a traveler instead.

For me, the most exciting part about being in a foreign country is to learn about the locals, you can see so many things by visiting the city on foot and that's what I always love to do. The best part about traveling alone is that you are free to alter your plan, go anywhere you feel like going, stop anywhere you feel like staying for a bit longer and still be able to enjoy the journey because you don't have to please anyone, you just have to follow your mind and heart. But be ready to bear higher costs as there is no one to share the accommodation and transportation costs, also there is no one to help you to take pictures and sometimes it is quite scary to sleep in a room alone. Anyway, you won't be totally alone all the time because you will meet new friends along the way. I make 7 new friends this time :)

I am still proud of myself for keeping the promise I made to myself, its not a luxurious tours, no 5-star hotels, no expensive meals, no air-cond bus all the way, but its a trip that I will always remember and never regret. Although this trip is too short to transform me to a totally different person, but the things I encountered and people I met along the way do give me some inspiration and changed me in one way or the other.

寻

我突然发现，你不见了。

我回到家里，你不在。

我到公司找你，你也不在。

我去对面的草场，见不到你。

我想，或许你会到超市逛逛，所以我又去了常光顾的那间，

可是还是没看到你。

我努力地想着所有你喜欢和你可能会去的地方。

图书馆，海边，书店，健身房，游泳池，羽球场...

我还在电影院外等了两个小时，几部电影散场后依然不见你的踪影，

所以我就买了戏票独自看了一部喜剧片。

我一边望着大荧幕，一边勉强地随着其他观众笑着，

却一边想着你到底还会去什么地方。

你是不是又离开了？

这次又到哪了？

不管你在哪里，请记得一定要等我，我一定会找到你。

因为，这是我对自己的承诺。

Again, A New Year

I forgotten what were my new year resolutions for year 2010, and wonder how many of them that I have achieved. Well, I pass my degree and this definitely has some indication for my future path.

Looking back things that happened throughout the year, ups and downs, to finally realize how things are not the same anymore. People changed, surrounding changed, status changed, thoughts changed...

Sometimes I wish life could be a bit gentler to me, but that is also how the way life shapes me to be what I am today. I am still in a so-called transition period, from the status of 'student' to 'working adult', and still trying to adapt to the change.

Also, this year I learned 2 philosophy of life. 居安思危 (to be prepared for danger in times of safety). 水能载舟，亦能覆舟(water that bears the boat is the same that swallows it up).

Should I wish for anything in 2011? Or I should rather believe that the best thing comes when you least expect it to?

Happy new year :)

这里到那里的距离还是一千步。

我踏出了一步，不是第一步，而是第一千零一步。

原来，过了这五年，大学给我们上的最长的一堂课，是友情。
而我们的最后一堂课，是离别。

Tomorrow is the long-awaited day, because I am gonna sit for the very very last paper as a university student. I can't wait for it to over.

But at the same time I am feeling down, for reasons I don't really know :(

我真的不是万能的。


对不起。

Life doesn't give you everything you want at the same time,

it gives out little by little as it goes.

But when the time you get everything you wanted,

you have already forgotten you once asked for it.

GOOD

I walked out from my lecturer's room, couldn't feel my feet touching the ground. Met Harpreet on the way back, and I was like jumping towards her:

"Harpreet!! My lecturer said 'GOOD'!!! "

For the whole semester, I could see the fed-up face of my lecturer everytime I meet him and tell him that I failed to produce any results for my final year project.

Had been cursing and begging for the program to be kind to me. Thank god, I could finally see something out of what I was doing few days ago, after experiencing crashing of pc, almost losing all the important data and in the end, have to 'pretend' to be postgraduate student to use their computer lab.

Hopefully everything will be smooth after this, then I can say goodbye to postgraduate computer lab and best thing, goodbye to FYP soon!

感觉累了 就放空自己

没那么简单 - 黄小琥

没那麼简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴

尤其是在 看过了那麼多的背叛

总是不安 只好强悍

谁谋杀了我的浪漫

没那麼简单 就能去爱 别的全不看

变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半

不爱孤单 一久也习惯

不用担心谁 也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西

感觉累了就放空自己

别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定

不想拥有太多情绪

一杯红酒配电影

在周末晚上 关上了手机 舒服窝在沙发裡

相爱没有那麼容易 每个人有他的脾气

过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那麼容易 才会特别让人著迷

什麼都不懂的年纪

曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经

想念最伤心 但却最动心 的记忆


我累了，也可以逃开现实一阵子吗？

Happy Chinese New Year

So, 5 days to Chinese New Year!!

I once heard as you get older, you lost the excitement in celebrating any festival. But I don't know why at my age, I am still pretty excited about the coming CNY. May be its because of the family gathering, the food, the angpao or merely because of the longer holiday (hmm.. pathetic huh..)

Thanks to Tronoh Pink Shop uncle for the mandarin oranges..

and also Carina, for the Bak Gua :)

My small brother is so afraid that I couldn't feel CNY in my campus and kept sending CNY songs to me. But the only way he knows how to send it is through voicemail, which he purposely play around with the volume. I don't know whether he wanted to make it sound like rap or what but it sounds annoying to me. Then he asked me to go watch the video from his facebook that he downloaded from YouTube. Then again, I don't know why I can't play any video in Facebook.

Anyway, Thanks to KenSeng, I finally have one very clear new year song，大日子(Tiger WooHoo's theme song) and I actually listen to it everyday since then.

I will be home in another 2 days.
I can foresee that the chipmunk will ask me this question :"The Periuk Kera won't eat your hand ar?" lol..

Happy Chinese New Year everyone :)

Mission Impossible II - Part 2

We already knew that this would be the lady we wanted to look for..

*Pretty lo..*

Next thing, we need to know where she is..

We have the most advanced technology to check her location..

"An UFO-like building on top of a mountain"

Happily, we started our journey right away..

But how could we get to the mountain top?

"Hmm... we got to figure something out... "

*Serious face*
The civil engineers at work..

We decided this would be the solution..
(A bridge connecting somewhere to the mountain top, it sounds weird, but trust the engineers :P )

*evil grin*
Again, we didn't expect there would be trouble maker in the team :(

Upon the completion of bridge, accident happened.
We lost a few members T_T

Some of us fell in deep sorrow for losing our beloved teammates..

Some in deep disappointment for not being able to accomplish the task..

Also, there were evil people among us.....

*幸灾乐祸*
"HahaHahaHahA.. Such a LOSER!! "

Therefore, we held a secret operation to find out those culprits who tried to boycott the team..

... and imprisoned them.

Although the number of members was lesser then,
but we could finally execute our task safely.

We learnt from the previous lesson and used a smarter way to reach the mountain top.

We made it and...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!



***** ***** *****

p/s:
I was thinking of a post to recap my 2009, but I hate to write too much, I believe a picture means thousand words, so I replace the wordy entry with some interesting pictures taken throughout the year. Mission Impossible is purely fiction, so no offense :)

2009 has been very interesting and fun year for me, thanks to all those appearing in the pictures posted in Mission Impossible Part I and II.
Also, a lot of them in my hard disk. I treasure them a lot.
I am gonna miss 2009.
but..
Happy new year :)

Mission Impossible II - Part 1

In 2008, we failed our first mission and escaped from our boss.

In 2009, we again, received a new mission.

Prince Fei wants to marry the prettiest lady on the earth.

Additional requirements to be fulfilled:

1. She must be sexy

2. She must be a chicken lover

3. She must be sporty



To make sure that we won't fail the mission again, we recruited more members.

Oppsss.. this is a bit too much..

Mind you, some of them are only taking gaji buta...

First thing of all, we must look for the prettiest lady on earth.

We tried so many ways..


Some used a very conventional way, such as writing to ask Santa...

Some used more advanced method, SMS Santa...

And some extremely lazy member used this way...
Praying to Santa -_-"

However, Santa used his own way to tell us the hints..
By appearing in the dream..


Finally, we got an idea who was the lady we were searching for..

To be continued......

出嫁

还记得小时候，当舅舅和婶婶有事外出不得不把表姐一个人留在家中时，她就会叫我过去她家陪她玩。
那已是十多年前的事了。
外婆偶尔也会在那，有时外婆会趁机抓我们俩去听她细说她的陈年往事。外婆不会说华语，所以她只能用她那十分标准的福建话来说给我们听。而当时只有不到十岁的我们，福建话还不到家，我们有一句没一句的听，完全不懂她在‘ngap’么。
所以，我以自己当时有限的福建话词汇，再加上自己‘丰富’的想象力，编制外婆的故事。

一直以来，我都自以为是的以为那就是外婆要传达的故事。
直到表姐披上嫁衣的那一天，我才再次听到外婆的正版故事，原来我编的故事跟真实的故事完全沾不上边。更可悲的是，连故事里的人物都被我搞错了-_-"。

随着时光的流逝，我们都各有各的生活，各有各的忙。
所以我们的联系也没有以前那般密切了。

真的不得不承认，光阴不留人。
小时候的玩伴，如今已是别人的贤内助了。

最后一次和表姐合照应该是十多年前的事了。
穿着婚纱的女人真的很美哦。

新郎过关斩将，成功赢得美人归。

愿这对新婚夫妇永结同心，白头偕老 :)

Le Décembre

I used to love December, for it being the last and most relaxing month of a year.
December = holidays, traveling, X'mas, Tang Yuan, Year End Sales, presents, gathering and also the excitement of looking forward for a new year.

But then, I also notice that bad things happen in this month too. Sometimes the after effects even haunt me for months.

Thank god this time around is not very bad, still, hopefully nothing else will go wrong for the rest of the days in this month.

Also, birthday wishes for December Sao Xing Po : Nicole, HuyLey and AnnTing :)



X'mas is coming, X'mas is coming...!!! XD